Perhaps not remembering what you did, waking up in jail or another strange place, or finding your well-being compromised. Similarly, a reader who commented on my post, “What Recovering Alcoholics Can Teach Us About Happiness,” discussed her negative experience in AA. She described some longtime members as “seething cauldrons of anger.” Another commenter observed that many being sober sucks AA members are caught in a cycle of negativity.
- I don’t believe total abstinence from all drugs is the way forward anymore its driving me insane.
- You could do things without worrying about the consequences; often, you did.
- Go to a 12-step meeting, find a sober group online, or call a sober friend who understands.
- The truth is, you can have a great life and understand how you react to situations while using healthy coping skills.
- Those were the days I’d make it to the gym and think that things would turn out okay after all.
- Even if you are making one small choice to improve how you feel each day, like working out more or eating better, track it.
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The truth is, you can have a great life and understand how you react to situations while using healthy coping skills. On the other hand, thinking everything is acceptable when you complete treatment is unrealistic and can set you up for disappointment. Come to terms with your version of recovery. Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous. It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions. Before you know it, a lousy day in sobriety can quickly turn into your last day in sobriety if you turn to drugs and alcohol to ease your emotional discomfort.
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And when we self-medicate with alcohol, we enter into a vicious cycle of drinking to avoid our problems and then causing new ones because, well, we drink. Before you know it, you’re drinking to avoid the fact that you have a drinking problem. We usually start drinking alcoholically because we are trying to hide from something. You must be willing to do the work and embrace the suck. You learn the hard lessons, And you evolve. You still have your “shit” to deal with, and maybe that never ends because, well, life.
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My past relapses were largely fueled by sobriety’s inability to solve my problems for me. Instead of reaching out alcohol rehab for help, giving AA a shot, or opening up to friends and family, I tried to Google my way to emotional stability. Baked into a lot of these programs and therapy sessions are things that will push you to accept full responsibility for your past and then provide you with the tools you need to move forward from them.
Accepting Sobriety
You’ll reach a point where you accept that there are some difficulties ahead of you, but you’re not afraid of them. You don’t feel defined by your past as strongly. Prove to yourself that you can finish what you start and be reliable. Push through and show up, even on days you don’t want to. Now, not every program or therapy approach will work for you.
My entire world revolved around drinking and unleashing my feelings onto well-intending people, no matter how irrational. You’re dealing with them now, and it’s getting better. There’s the real you in there, buried deep, but it’s suffocating under the weight of addiction, problems, and (in my case) untreated mental health problems like depression or anxiety.
People think you’re lame if you don’t drink and sober people don’t want to hang out with me because I’m a drug addict. But I have no choice because I’ll die if I drink anyway. It’s not about social skills, it’s about if you don’t make people feel bad for their choices. It isn’t that sobriety sucks, it’s that living in a world filled with booze and drugs while staying clean and sober can suck (at times). In this podcast I share a little of what has and has not worked for me.
Whatever recovery path you take (and there are MANY), the main thing is to acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers and could use some help. That step alone will lighten the emotional load significantly. It’s hard to face that stuff when you’re newly sober and it has hurled a lot of strong, well-intending people back into relapse. But if you know it’s coming, you can plan for it and increase your odds of getting through it. It screws with our ability to make sound decisions, leading to risky and often embarrassing behavior. Occasionally, those bad decisions veer into the realm of irreparable damage to our relationships, health, or life.
